Letting go (slowly)

I'm a notorious saver.  I save things that I think the girls will enjoy having as adults to remember things from their childhood.  I save things that I think we might need later, or might fit again later, or might be good-for-something later.  For the past year, my resolution has been to "let go" of most of these things, to clean out the clutter and give up things I no longer use. To reduce and recycle these things I no longer need.

In doing this, I have come to realize why I hold onto so much and I think it stems from being adopted. I was adopted straight from the hospital into my waiting adoptive parents arms.  It was a closed adoption, so the only info I had was a misspelled last name on a document a secretary from the lawyers office should have retyped.  I grew up with no past, no ethnic history, no so-called roots of my own blood.  I had vowed in my teenage years that "when I have kids" I would have things to give them, that gave them a sense of familial history.

So I had three experiences this past year that were the catalyst to my letting go of all these physical memories that I was holding onto.

The First:
My husband's best friend of 20+ years was killed on his motorcycle. Devasting. (Not his fault and he was wearing a helmet.)  So to really shorten a very long story, we ended up moving into his house.  It's a top school district, beautiful woodsy suburb, right on the lake and my home town.  We had to pack up our house of 10 years and move from a 2 story to a ranch.  I couldn't believe the things we had collected along the many years and vowed that it would stay in the garage until I could sort through what was staying and what was going.  I am proud to say that we now have use of our 3 car garage.  And Easter Seals has us on speed dial!

The second:
About midway through my de-cluttering, I got in touch with an old friend.  We were hanging out on the patio and doing some catching up since high school. She told me a story about how she & her husband did some missionary work before they had kids.  They sold or gave away most of their things and left the USA with just their hiking packs on their backs.  That's it.  I was blown away.  And I decided that I wanted that kind of freedom from possessions for myself.  I began anew and started cleaning again with a vengeance.

The third:
And yet another story on a blog I read, of a girl who managed to reduce her belongings to a couple of totes.  In one of her posts, she spoke of letting go of attachments to the past, to the future and it really spoke to me.  So now I ask myself, "if I let go of this item, will I lose the memory?" And most of the time, the answer is, "no."  So with renewed vigor, I've been attacking the memory boxes in the basement.  I want space in my house and space to create.  I want clear counter tops and empty shelves.  I want to be able to pack my belongings in a handful of totes and know that I have all I need tucked away in my heart ♥.